There was this boy in high school who found out my AIM screen name and messaged me with the opening line, “Do you straighten your hair?” I said no because my hair is straight and even though sometimes I used a straightener to make it less frizzy I mean, it didn’t seem like an important detail. “I really like your hair, I wish my hair were that straight. I always have to use a straightener,” he said. He had long hair and was a year older than me and was in a band and had a car so that meant he was cool, so it made sense to start sneaking out of the house at night to go make out with him, even though his gums were kind of gross and he was a regular at summer school. This quickly developed into a rather torrid luv affair. He would wait for me in his car parked up the street and once my parents went to bed I would sneak out through the basement.
One night he was waiting for me and I was getting ready in my room. My parents went to bed so I snuck out and walked up the street but his car was nowhere to be seen. I checked my text messages, “I saw you in your window straightening your hair.” Next message: “I thought you said your hair was naturally straight.”